Sleepless in San Francisco

I feel like Tom Hanks on so many different levels right now. As I sit here by myself feeling, looking and even smelling rather pathetic in the San Francisco airport in the wee hours of the night, I turn on Norah Jones in my headphones to make my life feel like it is a movie and there is a fitting song to fit my current situation. I like movies like these because there is always a happy ending. I don’t think Norah could play her songs for a movie with a sad ending.

I began my journey in Memphis, Tennessee early this morning in an attempt to trace my way back to Boise, Idaho in hopes to find normalcy. Instead of having a flight pattern that makes sense, United Airlines thought it might be hilarious to send me to Denver, San Diego and San Francisco before getting me to Boise.

While waiting in San Diego during my layover, I heard the muffled, annoyed voice over the loud speaker, “ Flight 6209 is delayed to San Francisco until 6 pm.” This basically translated into, “Hey David, you suck again.” Due to this awesome delay, I was late getting into San Francisco and missed my last leg to Boise. I am stuck in San Francisco International Airport for the night. Just me, Norah, and a few irritated airline employees.

So many possibilities! Yet I just want to sleep, or find carts to make money so I can eat. I can finally see what Tom Hanks had to go through.

On a different note, I have been keeping this whole trip a secret from my girlfriend. Sounds horrible, but it is not. Just an attempt to surprise her. I have been telling her half-truths and about 3 lies for the past 2 days just to keep the suspicion on a low level. You have no idea how hard this is to do with my girlfriend because she is so inquisitive! Every fifteen minutes she asks what I am up to just because she cares about me so much. I give her a response. She says “Why?” Adorable.

As I am about to finish this entry and try to get some sleep on this God forsaken chair, the man pictured above came and sat right next to me and began reading. Keep in mind that there are hundreds of empty chairs in sight in this area. Not to mention that he smells like a foot. I should be pissed, but this is hilarious.

Thank you Tom Hanks, you are a role model.

Valentine's Freakin' Day

<= (balloon string)All I wanted was to get a balloon for Ashley, instead I experienced a ridiculous series of events that led to this epic post.
February 14, 2009: I got off work and darted straight to Wal Mart to get the last few items to finish preparation for a wonderful date to take place later that night. chocolate? check. coke? check. Balloon? frig. "Where are the balloons?" I asked one of the jolly employees. "We are all out," she said while sloshing her gum, "except for that one right there." I whip my head around to see the large print on the balloon that read, "TO MY LOVE BIRD." Perfect. I snagged the balloon and began to walk to my car with a jolly grin. Suddenly a gust of wind arose and blew the balloon off the string! "Look mommy, a balloon!" a little girl said with glee nearby. I hate that little girl. Just kidding, but I was severely irritated at that moment. Long story short, I returned home and filled my parents in on the loss. With a heart for justice, my parents took my receipt and marched back to Wal Mart and demanded a refund. They were victorious. Although the balloon plan flopped, the rest of the night was great, just in case you were wondering. Thanks nature.

Sketchy Lady in Business Clothes

Once upon a time, I was working...at the coffee shop. A lady that looks similar to Hillary Clinton came up to order some food. Her attitude seemed of the arrogant sort. She tried real hard to be professional and classy. In an attempt to be friendly to this lady (aquire a tip) I asked her, "So do you have any fun plans today?" This is usually a safe question to ask since most customers do not like to elaborate about their personal life to any extent. Danger.
She looked up at me, paused for a brief second, and smirked as she replied, "Ya, I actually have a pole dancing class tonight." "What the H?" I thought to myself. She then proceeded in asking me the same question. Without any hesitation, I responded "I am probably going to find a pole dancing class as well." She laughed. I sweat. Don't judge a book by its cover... or a lady by her suit.
...yes that is a picture of the lady.

Skinny Mexican....Mocha

So today, I was at work...at the coffee shop and I was making drinks, like usual. In a rush, I finished making a skinny mexican mocha.
"Skinny Mexican," I yelled out (in an unpolitically correct manner) as I was cut off abruptly by a voice streaming through the chaos, "Right here!"
Lo and behold, the drink was for a skinny Mexican man. Finally, life makes sense.

For those of you that are unfamiliar with coffee lingo, allow me to translate. "Mexican" is a type of chocolate. "Skinny" is another term for non-fat milk.
Until next time...