Valentine's Freakin' Day

<= (balloon string)All I wanted was to get a balloon for Ashley, instead I experienced a ridiculous series of events that led to this epic post.
February 14, 2009: I got off work and darted straight to Wal Mart to get the last few items to finish preparation for a wonderful date to take place later that night. chocolate? check. coke? check. Balloon? frig. "Where are the balloons?" I asked one of the jolly employees. "We are all out," she said while sloshing her gum, "except for that one right there." I whip my head around to see the large print on the balloon that read, "TO MY LOVE BIRD." Perfect. I snagged the balloon and began to walk to my car with a jolly grin. Suddenly a gust of wind arose and blew the balloon off the string! "Look mommy, a balloon!" a little girl said with glee nearby. I hate that little girl. Just kidding, but I was severely irritated at that moment. Long story short, I returned home and filled my parents in on the loss. With a heart for justice, my parents took my receipt and marched back to Wal Mart and demanded a refund. They were victorious. Although the balloon plan flopped, the rest of the night was great, just in case you were wondering. Thanks nature.

Sketchy Lady in Business Clothes

Once upon a time, I was working...at the coffee shop. A lady that looks similar to Hillary Clinton came up to order some food. Her attitude seemed of the arrogant sort. She tried real hard to be professional and classy. In an attempt to be friendly to this lady (aquire a tip) I asked her, "So do you have any fun plans today?" This is usually a safe question to ask since most customers do not like to elaborate about their personal life to any extent. Danger.
She looked up at me, paused for a brief second, and smirked as she replied, "Ya, I actually have a pole dancing class tonight." "What the H?" I thought to myself. She then proceeded in asking me the same question. Without any hesitation, I responded "I am probably going to find a pole dancing class as well." She laughed. I sweat. Don't judge a book by its cover... or a lady by her suit.
...yes that is a picture of the lady.

Skinny Mexican....Mocha

So today, I was at work...at the coffee shop and I was making drinks, like usual. In a rush, I finished making a skinny mexican mocha.
"Skinny Mexican," I yelled out (in an unpolitically correct manner) as I was cut off abruptly by a voice streaming through the chaos, "Right here!"
Lo and behold, the drink was for a skinny Mexican man. Finally, life makes sense.

For those of you that are unfamiliar with coffee lingo, allow me to translate. "Mexican" is a type of chocolate. "Skinny" is another term for non-fat milk.
Until next time...